Clinton Tethers Game Lady Hawks, 8-0

Written By:  Kerry Haselton


Our game last night was delayed by a bad accident on Route 78 that made travel time to the game hefty.  It was well after the scheduled kickoff time when the Hawks finally had 7 players and we had 13.  Hawks never made it to a full side of 11, but they played anyway and it was a sportsmanlike and easy match (for us...) on a lovely night.

Although the warning had gone out that we were also short players, many responded to the call.  Jen and I drove direct from an episode of Househunters- DC to make the game.  Shannon and Heather were sporting injuries, EJ and Claudia played on a Wednesday, a rarity for them because of work, and Cheryl was recovering from vertigo, but we were all there.

The first half ended 4-0 and we changed up our lineup to give some of our defenders a chance to get further forward on the field.  People who had already tallied a goal were not allowed to score any more.  Krissy took about 1 minute to score with a great header, then she trotted back to her sweeper spot.  Harvey played very well at right midfield and up top.  Many people contributed to the scoreline- Linda had 3 goals, Shannon scored before leaving the game early to rest her knee injury, and Kelly, EJ, Krissy and Cheryl all put the ball in the net.  The rest of us had assists and set ups and we played a nice passing game.  Jen played in goal and had a quiet match except for one sliding save which left her with a sore quad.

Player of the game was Hopatcong's goalkeeper, who made several really tough saves, especially when the sun was in her eyes.  It's hard to be a struggling team in this league, and the veterans on our team remember the days, (not long ago at all,) when Hopatcong routinely beat us 9-1. They were in the ascension and we were rebuilding.  Now the tables have turned. Hopefully they will get some new players and survive to play, because when a team folds, the whole league suffers.

After the game, we had beers with our fans, kids, and Amy and DJ, who came out to watch, or at least to imbibe!  We stayed past sunset and had a great time before heading out into the night.

Squad- Jen, Kerry, Krissy, Heather, Maryanne, Harvey, EJ, Kelly, Shannon,
Cheryl, Linda, Laura, Claudia

No game this Sunday.  We have a BYE on Wednesday the 6th.  Our next game is Sunday the 10th in Sparta.  Count to follow.  Enjoy your holiday weekend, gang!



Addendum By:  Cheryl McKinney


Kerry, once again being the optimist and always trying to find the good in every human, failed to mention the highlight of the game.

With about ten minutes left in the first half, a hopatcong player who, no doubt was stuck in traffic on 78, rolled into the lot. Her team was desperate for her to get on the field. So much so that they actually let her play in her dry clean only work slacks. They were black and flowy and put me in mind of clam diggers or culottes or gauchos. They had a zipper and a button and even had belt loops. It was a sight to see. With the soccer socks underneath I could hardly contain my laughter as I watched her gallop around the field like somebody's mom who came to watch but was thrown on the field out of desperation. It was friggin hilarious.

At halftime she changed into shorts, and before long we all remembered who she was from last season. She rolled up her shirt, tucked it into her sports bra and played with a little 1985 seaside heights style half shirt going on. You all know who I mean, now, right? Remember her?? 

Game Report- United Vacuums Sweeps, 4-3

Written by:  Kerry Haselton


A huge carpool and sundry other United players pulled into Midvale field to find the Sweeps putting their goals together and lining the field. Apparently, they have to assemble and disassemble their goals every game. Foran is paradise compared to that!


Pregame meetings verified that this game was going to be a little different. The trees on the far side were  overhanging the field by about 8 feet, so balls hitting the branches and landing inbounds were to be played as IN. Talk about home field advantage- strategic use of tree rebounds.


Dawn Jordan came out of retirement and played between the pipes, which meant we had 11 players at the start.  We picked up one sub in the first half with Laura Walker's arrival.  The game started evenly, with both sides  taking chances for themselves.  We were reminded about 12 minutes in that giving up corners to this team is simply not a good idea. They have a left footed player who can bend that sucker like Beckham from both sides.  Sure enough, they got the first goal of the morning at the near post, when one of their tall players headed the ball back toward Meags, who said, "Well, if it hits me in the chest, I ought to be able to stop it."  But there was no time to react and it could and would have happened to any of us.


Not long after, we set a lovely series of passes in motion which freed Kelly on the right side.  She ran to the goal line and cut the cross back hard to a charging Erin who finished smartly at the far post.  1-1!



The rest of the half we dominated.  It was very comfortable at the back with Harv, Ange, Meags and I starting new attacks and the Sweeps imploring each other to start winning balls.  Before the end of the half, Linda got the first of her eventual HATTRICK of goals.  Angel had the assist.


Meags was man marking the number 3 and doing a great job of it, but she did get through on one of her diagonal runs and she bore down on DJ with menace, but Dawn came out with perfect timing and utterly stuffed her!  It was an incredible save.


I heard the Sweeps at halftime, their sometime goalkeeper who was playing central mid saying- "It's ok if we lose this game, as long as we play better second half."  I would say overall they did play better second half,  starting with the goal we let them score like 30 seconds in.  We all stopped, sure we had the number 3 offside- and she just waltzed in there and scored.  2-2, just like that!  Dawn got something on it but it dribbled over the goal line. Sweeps continued to press and caused confusion at the back as they overloaded the far post on every cross and we could not get clear. Just about that time, Waldo pulled in.  The Sweeps did not want to let us sub her in on their throw in- but they had subbed on ours, so come on get a grip!  In she came and with a lot of snazzy forward play, we got our third goal- Linda Feldman!  When you're hot, you're HOT!  But the game was far from over.  Sweeps kept attacking in droves.  They won a free kick near the middle of the short field.  The ball came in and bounced in front of Dawn on the sandy firm ground and arc'd up over her head and into the net.
Unbelievable.


So it was 3-3.  Both teams wanted the game.  We were dominant in their half, they were dominant in ours.  Waldo had the ball for what seemed like 5 minutes, probing for a shot, left foot, right foot, feet feet feet (Dr. Seuss) but the shot was blocked and fell to Erin who volleyed it, it was saved and then she came in again at the goalkeeper's feet but it hit the post!  But we continued to press and Linda got the hattrick- 4-3, and that is how it ended.  Dawn stopped the number 3 again and got kicked in the head for her troubles.  DJ and Linda share woman of the match honors on this one.


So much hard work by all the mids and forwards - Amy, EJ, Maryann, Erin, Kelly, Linda, and Laura and Waldo to make us successful in this game.  And we finished up with time for Harv and Waldo and Bart and I to get a beer at
TGI Fridays before sending our number 9 north on Route 87 towards Vermont.


Thanks everyone who played.  It was a chippy, heated game.  The Sweeps all slide tackle like push brooms.  But we swept them under the rug.

Squad- DJ, Kerry, Harv, Angel, Meags, Erin, Maryann, Kelly, EJ, Linda, Amy, Laura Walker, Laura Halfpenny

United Arrive in Force to Defeat Long Valley, 3-1

Written By:  Kerry Haselton


I should have known it was too good to be true- two lined fields at Foran for our opening match- sweet!  Though it was a very hot day, there was a fresh breeze and it was not humid.  It may have been too hot for kids to stay in classrooms, but they were happily playing soccer at Foran.


I knew I was getting old when lugging the ball bag and ice cooler to the far side of the far field left me breathless. But the sight of a flock of white clad high school boys heading for the exact same field soon clued me in that all was not right- field conflict, some politicking to do...The boy's coach begged for the large field, and I relented. Just as well- They are young, let them run!


Long Valley is an old time rival and a good team.  Their name outnumbers all others on the trophy by a long shot, but we outnumbered them last night. They came with only 11 players- we had 17 by early in the first half.  They asked only for a water break, not a shortening of the game.  Dave was the lone ref. More on him later.


In any Long Valley game, the first order of business is to corral their best forward, Julie.  She has hit us for 5 goals in a session on one occasion and a hattrick on another. I had the mark on her for the first 22 minutes, and she is a handful- fast, clever, very aggressive, and mouthy with the ref. She trounced on Krissy's foot and left her limping by the end of the game. But she did not get past us in that first quarter, and at the other end of the pitch, Kelly scored a lovely goal for us!  We were doing a nice job of moving the ball around and passing to feet, and we were good value for the lead.


At the quarter, we subbed in the late-arriving Kara Hines to contend with Julie.  Kara gets my vote for woman of the match for her performance at right back.  During the second quarter, she and LJ, well off her line, had a near collision, briefly sandwiching the forward, but the ball broke loose on her foot, and Hinesy recovered and won the ball and passed smartly up field. It was a tense moment!  For most of the rest of the game, Hinesy played back there and kept things tight.  She had an awesome night. 


As the temperature dropped, tempers rose. (Image courtesy of Kara Light! :-))   Long Valley kept trying to go over the top to Julie, and Krissy, Hines-y and Angel kept thwarting her.  The ball was bogging down in the middle and it was crowded there, but we didn't feel confident enough to go to three forwards against this team.  The half played out fairly evenly.  LJ made some clearances and we gave up just a corner or two, winning a couple of the same at the other end.  We had some chances and shots, including a breakaway for Cheryl, but Long Valley's keeper was up to the challenges. Heather and Erin ran tirelessly on the wing.  Lindsay and Kara and Laura Walker subbed into the middle and kept all legs fresh.


We knew we needed another goal.  But early in the second half, it was Long Valley that got one.  I think it was off a free kick.  The ball lofted in and one of the forwards made a slicing diagonal run onto it, and she was all alone in acres of space.  She had an hour or so to plan her shot and she picked her spot and scored.


No matter, because we responded quickly.  The ever lively Linda Feldman was up field on a breakaway and the goalkeeper came out to close her down and took her out!  Spot kick awarded, and neatly, calmly finished by the same Linda Feldman.  Long Valley seemed to hang their heads at that point, except for Julie, who kept badgering the ref for calls and getting many of them. Her team kept feeding her the ball, and we kept turning her away.  The game was put out of reach by Laura Walker in her debut appearance for United- a sweet start for her.  Someone said, "Ok, you can stay!"


Maryanne and Harv and Krissy were playing in the center of the field at that point and Cheryl was mopping up in the back to great effect.  Kara Light, Amy, Lisa, Lindsay and I were switching in and out up top and middie. Lindsay did great at wide midfield on the left.  Amy had a nice go at forward and she passed well and won balls with back to goal. At the very end of the game, Kara Hines took a well deserved rest and I switched back there
so Erin could play up top.  Krissy said something about beer and Julie said even mentioning beer when they were so thirsty was a red card offense. One of the Greenscapes said "I got nuthin left," which is a quote from Officer
and a Gentleman but I decided not to mention that.  After the game, the ref cemented his position as our favorite ref by breaking out a cooler of beers and inviting us to join him!  I'm glad we got this game in and I'm glad we won. We have many more Wednesday games at Foran after which we can either party at the field or go to Krissy's pool and slum.  Angel's pool party at her palatial estate will be later in the season.

Bottom line, we won because we came out played hard and had multiple subs. Thanks to everyone who played.  Now, please come out and play again Sunday in Mountain Lakes!

Squad- LJ, Kerry, Krissy, Angel, Maryanne, Harv, Kelly, Er, Heather, Cher,
Lindsay, Linda, Lisa, Amy, Kara, Hines-y, Laura

United prove the best defense is a good offense and slay Dragons 5-1

Written By Kerry Haselton

After tallying a lone goal on Wednesday, the United ladies in Pro-Activity pink put on their shooting boots today and dispatched the Hunterdon Dragons 5-1, in a dominant display. After settling the youngsters (not the new players, the kids!) and donning our kit, the next order of business was to find us some goalkeepers.  Much bargaining ensued, and it appeared that some were almost willing to trade their first-borns for a free pass.  Despite the trouncing I took playing goal indoors, I had to admit that I had in fact trained like 3 times with Catherine, so I put the gloves on.

It's really not that bad playing goal when you have Jeannette, Lindsay, Angel, Meags, and Kara playing in front of you. My butterflies began migrating when Jeannette sauntered into the box to head a Krissy corner kick into the upper ninety.  That Jeannette- she keeps saying how she is getting very old, but she sure doesn't play that way.  Things got even better when Maryanne got our second goal, again off a corner kick.  It wasn't one of her power headers.  It was more of a scramble goal.  We dominated the half, with Linda and Claudia and our new player, Shannon, very lively up top.  Hinesy and Erin and Harv and Krissy and Maryann were dominating across the midfield.  I made one good save in traffic and watched Jeannette sweep.  Not exactly hazard duty.  I started to feel more comfortable.   The half ended with the score at 2-0.

Maryanne sporting a bloody nose after
taking a direct hit by the ball to the face

We changed ends, and I noticed that we had to go uphill a bit.  Just as I was saying  "We need another goal," we got one.  I think Erin scored it. It's hard to see from all the way back there!  But Hunterdon had added a

third striker and things got busier in the back in the second half.  At some point, not too far in, they got their goal on a shot from distance that was really no big deal and if I were playing defense I probably would have just dribbled and cleared, but I was in goal so I thought I should use my hands, and I forgot to dive.

Captain Harvey

Our response was to immediately score a fourth goal.  I think Linda scored it.  It came off a lovely passage of play with many passes back and forth across the offensive half of the field.  The ease with which we restored our 3 goal cushion broke the spirit of our opponents somewhat, but they continued to attempt through balls onto the foot of their exceptionally fast striker, Christina, and their wide forwards.  We mopped up everything they could throw at us.  Late in the game, it was a pleasure to see our Captain Harvey finish a lovely goal off her left foot. We proved to ourselves that we do have a lot of goals in this team and the ability to finish them off. If not for the performance of Hunterdon's goalkeeper, we might have scored many more goals.  Let's keep up the momentum on Wednesday- Let's GO United!

Squad- Kerry, Angel, Jeannette, Krissy, Lindsay, Kara, Shannon, Maryann,

Claudia, Hines-y, Harvey, Linda, Meags, and Erin.  DJ was there to cheer us

on- thanks, Dawn!

Notes from the Back/Bench- United Dons New Kit on New Field and Faces Old Problem

Despite a 10 county tornado watch and a longer commute to the field, United
opened the season yesterday at Millbrook, a lovely rural field procured by
and lined by Kathy Harvey.  She also lugged our gorgeous new jerseys up to
the shady bench.  Massive thanks to our captain for designing the jersey and
sealing the Pro-Activity sponsorship for our team.  You are the BEST, Harv!



We pulled on the racerback super cool jerseys and started with 11 players,
though we had trouble counting and thought we were 12. Soon Krissy and Kara
and Lisa got there and we were 14.. One of our new players, Kelly, suited up
for us for the first time.  Welcome, Kelly!



Right away we set the pattern for the match and pinned a young and fast
Piscataway team in their own end for long periods, but when push came to
shove, sometimes literally, we failed to put the ball in the net.  Shots
sailed high or wide or were scooped up by their excellent gk.  Meanwhile,
back in the back, the defense and Super LJ contended with the fast counters
and pile on offense featured by this team.  They got the first goal after
about 12 minutes against the run of play when they played a ball over the
top, beat the trap, and chipped/bypassed a stranded LJ.  Nonetheless, we
fashioned the perfect response- a goal within 2 minutes of our own, finished
by Linda. I wish I could remember who sent the pass through because it was a
spot on through ball.  Play continued in this vein for the bulk of the half-
we kept on shooting or sometimes having our moves break down with harmless
overshot through balls quickly snuffed by the gk, and Piscataway kept on
running and testing the trap.  Heather had some marvelous crosses, but we
seldom got the ball to Erin on the left.  With about 12 minutes to go in the
half, Piscataway had one girl offside on our left but the middie ran through
from an onside position onto the ball and had all day pretty much to shoot
and score.



We decided at the half to play the wide defenders wider and try to play the
ball more to feet.  But the big activity at half was LJ trying to move her
haircut appointment to Thursday so she could stay!  She succeeded in moving
it back, but could only stay for 30 of the 45  minutes.  The second half we
shot and shot and shot, but did not finish.  Their gk made two great saves
and LJ had one of her own, just getting down in time to stop a ball that was
threatening to go under her.  Erin got through on the left and she blasted
that sucker- somehow saved.  Krissy had two free kicks go close.  Meanwhile,
back in the back, Lindsay and I were having a fine time with the counters-
and I spoke testily to the little blonde girl to get her hands off my new
jersey!  Angel was playing center mid and doing very well.  Heather went in
goal with 15 minutes left and she made a couple of great saves and she was
quick off her line to prevent shots.  We pressed and we tried but we didn't
get the goal.  Cheryl said, "Come on guys we need two goals in this last 30
seconds."  It was not to be, but we played well and could have won this game
10-2 if we had been more accurate.  We fashioned a slew of chances.



Squad- LJ, Kerry, Krissy, Lindsay, Hines-y, Mare, Kelly, Harv, Er, Heather,
Linder, Cher, Lisa, Angel