Clinton United Books Trip to the Final, Bumping Basking Ridge, 4-2

Oh, the joys of Parsippany in the summertime.  In the previous 5 years, Clinton has earned 4 free vacation days on artificial turf just as July turns into August and the little rubber pellets begin to melt.  This year is no exception, thanks to the legions of ladies in Pepto Pink who descended on Foran yesterday to send Mavericks packing.

Maryanne ready to outrun and outskill the defense

Prescience (SAT word of the day) held sway and there was magic in the air.  On the way to the game, I saw a cop had pulled someone over by our exit and I remarked to Jen, “Hope that is one of the Mavericks, off to a bad start on the day.”  Half hour later, I get a call from Maryanne.  Yup, she’s been pulled over on Route 22.  For once, Mare was sporting her jersey on the way to the game.  Usually, she wears pumps and a slinky dress.  Luckily for her, the cop saw the Proactivity jersey and said, “Oh, are you running late to the game?  I know two of your teammates, Erin and Kara.”  She beat the ticket.  I’m surprised he didn’t give her an escort.  Our fame is growing!  Kara texted the officer and pleaded, “Let Maryann go!”  By kickoff time, we had a ton of players, and Mavericks had 5.  Hey, you are not from far away- get it together.  Once the game actually kicked off, they had risen to 12.

Linda going for the perfect pass

We played this team 10 days ago, and played poorly, and won 4-2 against 9 players.  So they must have fancied their chances, having just out-biatched Randolph in the quarterfinals.  We were glad to avoid Randolph, but this game was not super pleasant and sporting.  Mavs should have been happy to make the semis, but it seemed they were not.  They don’t seem to like soccer, or each other, very much at all.  We scored our first goal early, 10 minutes in, when Erin took a shot from distance after curling into the center from her left hand slot, and just nailed it.  Linda scored right after that.  Then the game got physical.  It was especially nasty in the middle.  The calls were a mystery at times.  Once, the ball was way up in the air and Tammy was bearing down on me.  I like life, and I like having bones in my legs, so I didn’t jump, just held my ground.  She jumped, I got bowled over, I got called for the foul.  Hmm.   Tony might want to take another look at the definition of Impeding.  All through the first half, the Mavericks attacked, but we kept them under good control and Cheryl did a wonderful job setting the line.  LJ wasn’t under a lot of pressure.  It was manageable.  But in the middle, the stew of emotions was coming to a simmer.  They had out outsized there, but not outclassed, and they were getting angry.  The half petered out comfortably at 2-0.

Heather got the first touch...hopefully without a headache

The second half opened with increased pressure.  The Mavs had nothing to lose and they were throwing everyone forward.  They are quick, and they looked to exploit the area between our goalkeeper and the back restraining line.  But that left them open to the counterattack- and Kelly got on the ball and made it 3-0.  We knew we were going to win at that point.  But Mavericks did not give up.  Kara Light came up big twice in the second half, looping back to cover Cheryl on a challenge, and clearing the ball.  But Mavericks did get a goal when Cheryl slid just at the edge of the box, got all ball, but didn’t push it far enough clear, and the score sat at 3-1.  Mavericks were salivating at the opportunity to get back in the game.  They were agitated- one player was yellow carded for dissent.  Meaghan was pissed about the contact in the middle and called another girl a Beast!  The Beast said, “You have got to be f#$k&8g kidding me.”  She was yellow carded at the next stoppage but it could have been red.  There were children everywhere, and she really yelled it out.  Jen said that the big number 7 purposely elbowed her way after the ball had left the area. Angel nearly got carded for raising her hands to the ref and walking away while he was talking to her, but he was so quiet, no one could hear him.  She kept her cool.  Erin wanted to have a verbal go at the Beast after she swore but she waved it off and then we put the game out of reached when Claudia popped up in the box to finish off a rebound.  4-1. You can’t catch us.  They did get another goal while I was getting juice for Maryanne’s boys- so cute!  And the contact continued.  One last sweet moment when Kelly cleanly won the ball off Tammy on a hard tackle and just laid her out.  What goes round comes back around.  I don’t know when relations between these two teams will ever mend.  But we were the better team on the day and fully deserved to advance.

Check out all our photos from the game:  HERE

Squad- LJ, Mary, Cheryl, Kerry, Meags, Angel, Lindsay, Kara, Maryanne, Harv, Heather, Erin, Kelly, Linda, Claudia, Jen, Jo, DJ

We play the FINAL on Saturday morning, 9 am, at Jannarone field in Parsippany.  Let’s get the trophy back!!!!

Clinton Edges Sparta in Absolute Thriller, 3-2 in Double Overtime

Written by:  Kerry Haselton

The stunning parallels between Team Pepto’s postseason run and Team USA’s run up to the World Cup final continued last night, with late game drama as the sun sank below the treeline at Foran.  In the end, just before the game was decided by kicks from the mark, United scored a brilliant golden goal to silence Sparta’s coach and send them back to their own cornfields.  It was a wonderful game, and it went like this…

Meags, Erin, Kara & Super LJ in goal

For the second straight game, United players answered the call and got their butts to the field in record numbers.  Everyone confessed to heavy cases of butterflies before kickoff.  Although we beat Sparta 4-1 just 2 games ago, we all knew that they were among the best teams we faced.  After working so hard to come in second in the regular season, it is very hard luck to draw Sparta in the first round.  They had trouble generating results this season, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good.  They also had one or two players with them last night that were missing last time we played- most notably #21, a friend of Maryanne’s who is a really great player.  Just looking at her gave me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. But they lack one thing we have- a goalkeeper.  Their’s is injured, and we had two last night- LJ and Mary.

Aunt Krissy looking to make the perfect corner kick

The first half featured a lot of crisp passing and some very fast attacking play.  Unfortunately, the vast majority of it was played by Sparta.  Led by Krissy and bolstered by a strong showing from LJ, we defended well.  Sparta was playing a system we had not seen before- using a decoy.  No, they did not use fake ducks to try to lure real ducks to their deaths- they used a player in the offside position to try to lure our mids and defenders into complacency and run very fast players in around her and make us fail to track them.  Krissy explained it all to us, and we learned on the job.  Kelly directed the mids.  We hung together.  Lindsay made some good slide tackles.  Laura Walker had a key block and clearance.  We generated some chances from our wide players, but there was a lot of defending to do.  We could not get any possession in the middle of the park.  But we gave up very few corners and that’s a good thing.  We had a few of our own as well, and we came close to scoring.   At one point, Sparta played a ball in over the top and Krissy went to cover it, and the decoy, #11, shifted over and blocked her off the ball.  The whistle blew.  Krissy was under the impression that she was being penalized for elbowing the girl, so she started to put up a fuss, but the call was against Sparta, for impeding, or offside, or both!  The Sparta coach said, “Nicely done.”  Krissy was winding up to take the free kick and she said, “What?  What can you mean by that?  Nicely done?  You want them to cheat?!?”  Good thing we don’t have a coach.  They were playing pretty much man down all the time they used this tactic.  Duh.  0-0 at the half.  We were very much in the game.

During the break, interested onlookers, well, mostly Mary, who was going to have to play goal against this team, wanted to go to a 3-4-3 or a 3-5-2.  We explained that we don’t know how to do these things.  We used to play in a 4-3-3, but we are afraid to do it when we already can’t get a touch in center midfield.  Next season, maybe we can work on these systems at practice.  Oh, right, we don’t have any practices.  We used to try to practice, but the same 5 players always showed up. So we decided to try to push Maryanne up a bit as warranted, but otherwise, just keep on working hard.  We also needed to play faster and get to more balls first.   We were doing fine, everything was good, but then #21 came down our right side, cut back onto her right foot, and she shot the ball from 25 yards, curling it in to the side netting far post.  There was nothing anyone could do about that- it was like Heather O’Reilly’s strike in group play in Germany.  We didn’t get down, we just said, well, we should try some shots from distance of our own.  Very soon after that, still within the first 10-15 minutes of the half, we got a goal.  We built from the back, I had time and passed it to Kelly, Kelly got the ball in, and Linda scored a great goal to bring us level!  We then won several corners and started to play with confidence. We had 3 good headers of the ball framing the box on these corners (Maryanne, EJ, and Jen).  An embarrassment of riches.  But wait, there’s more.   Maryann scored after the ball had popped out to her after a free kick or a corner.  Wow, we were winning.  

Linda coming in for the kill

We kept attacking, despite injuries to two of our speedy forwards- Lisa (ankle) and Linda (mild concussion- she still knew what day of the week it was on her second guess!)  Mary came up with some big saves under pressure, including one where #11 could have jumped over her but choose instead to kick her in the gut while she was down.  The refs did not look kindly on that.   Linda’s injury had caused the refs to add a little time to the second half, but we were seconds from the whistle when Sparta was playing a corner and the shot looked well struck and net-bound from the sideline when we all wondered- How did that shot go wide?  It had hit EJ’s hand and deflected out of play.  Scott did blow the whistle, we thought the game had ended, but he was pointing to the SPOT!  Mary made that kicker wait, she played all the mind games she could play, but the shot was good.  2-2.  End of regulation.  I yelled SUB, because I thought with the rapidly waning light we would go direct to pk’s  But the refs wanted to squeeze in the 2 overtime periods of 5 minutes, golden goal.  I felt good about our chances in pks, and we all know how fast those 5 minute periods go by,- so we needed to have our kickers out there, including the aforementioned, mildly-concussed Linder Feldman.  What a trooper.

Both teams went after the goal.  Nothing happened in the first period, so we switched ends.  The sun disappeared and the clock ticked inexorably down.  We won two free kicks.   Krissy was playing with a huge knee and a dead leg, but she sent them in- and HEATHER pulled an Abby Wambach and she scored a goal just seconds from the end of the game!!!!  We swarmed onto the field, Scott temporarily thought he was at World Cup and he said No Golden Goal!  Then he said, “Wait- YES, golden goal!”  And we WON and we advance to the Semis- and        WE DON’T HAVE TO PLAY RANDOLPH!  Basking Ridge got through and now we play them at 9 am Sunday at Foran.  Let’s win and go to the final for the 5th year in 6! 

Let’s GO United!

Squad- LJ, Mary, Kerry, Krissy, Angel, Lindsay, Kara, Kelly, Hines-y, Harv, EJ, Lisa, Jen, Linda, Laura, Erin, Heather, Jo, Amy, DJ, Meags, Maryanne.  Thanks also to all of our fans!

Peptos Survive Indigestion and Rally to Quell Acidic Mavericks, 4-2

Foran was coated in Pink last night as uncountable masses of Peptos appeared for the final regular season match.  The field was unlined and unmowed and the manager had to fight to wrest it from the clutches of a trainer who was too put out to move to the far field.  But she is no milquetoast and eventually, he moved off, kowtowed. 

We had 20 something players wearing the Pro-Activity P for this match.  Yes, even Jo was there, her daughter safely married off. Little Olivia was also sporting pink in support of her mom.  We have struggled to put this team on the field with 11 for a match or two, but no need to call out more troops for this one.  We were 2 deep at every position and we put two complete teams out there- each for half the game.

For some reason, playing the Mavericks is never super fun.  They seem always to be short of players and short of temper.  Their team leader, Tammy, is a fire hydrant of a player known primarily for breaking other players’ legs with her two-footed slide tackles.  To her credit, she kept her feet for this match.  Last summer, in extreme heat, we played poorly and slowly and barely emerged with a 3-2 victory against like 8 (yes, 8!!!!) of them.   This year, they had 8 or 9 players. In days past, they used to take joy in destroying us when we were short of players.  We would like to return the favor, but somehow, we don’t always bring our A game against this team.

In the team huddle, everyone was abuzz about the game plan and the manager’s brilliant allocation of players- they were speaking, of course, about Pia Sundhage.  Lisa piped up- “Guess what?  I’m going to Germany!  My daughter’s whole team is going!”

Not to be outdone, Meags countered, “Yeah, well, Nike called me on the way to the game and they are chartering a jet to send me over there and I am going to be on the bench, or in the press box, or something.”  So there!  We are so famous.  Even Nike has recognized the amazing way that Team USA’s season has tracked that of Clinton United.  I am sure Nike would have called me, but I never give out my cell number.  Our “Let’s GO United” cheer was the loudest ever because we had so many hearty voices in the huddle.

We started off so-so and we stayed that way, pretty much, but we got the first goal.  Shannon makes a practice of scoring every game and she did not disappoint today.  She was only going to stay for a half, so she decided to take her goal early, from distance, curling in over the keeper’s outstretched arms.  A bit after our 17 minute changeover to Clinton United II, Scott signaled a penalty kick against us after a tackle from behind in the box.  Krissy was working the player and when Lindsay went to double up on her she fell over.  Everyone was thinking about Germany.  Luckily, there was no penalty arc painted because the lines were too faint to replicate, so no one could step inside it.  That meant it was Mary v Maverick.  The shot came in high and just a bit to Mary’s right.  She is so quick that she got a strong hand on it and pressed it skyward but it hit in just under the bar and dropped into the net.  What a great effort.  1-1.

I missed the go ahead goal because I was retrieving one of our $40 game balls from the ball-eating bush J when it happened.  I couldn’t even tell from the cheers whether we had scored or Mavs, so I asked Heather.  She said it was us- yea!!!  Later on I consulted with my official goal-tallier, Kelly, who confirmed it was Linda.  Angel and I know it’s very hard to tell who scores from the defensive end- we are just happy when the ball is not in OUR net.  Halftime talked confirmed that we were not playing very well, but, whatever.  Krissy mom thinks we’re good, so that’s enough.

Team I went out there and played so-so but Heather got a scrappy goal.  So we were leading, 3-1.  Not for very long, though.  Mavericks somehow had us outnumbered on the right all game even though they have like 9 players.  Krissy said she would go ball, and for once, she did not get it, and the rest of the defense was kind of, like watching in disbelief.  Catherine came out and got a hand on it but it went in the goal- 3-2.  This is when things got unfun.  Scott called a foul against Mavericks, which was rare in this game, most calls seemed to go inexplicably against us, and Krissy placed a ball just a bit up the field- like say, maybe 10 yards.  Much griping ensued.  Krissy said, “Hey, whatever, we have all the time in the world.”  Tammy said, “Oh, you do, do you?” and kicked the ball not very close to Krissy, kind of away, in fact.  I had visions of yellow cards starting to appear, but Krissy placed the ball and we restarted.  Soon after, we put in team II.  Team I stood watching, knowing we needed another goal, not feeling comfortable at all.  Needing Pepto, in fact.  Then IT happened.  Just like when Abby Wambach popped up in the box and bashed that header home, only shorter, EJ popped up in the box at the end of a scrum and pounced on a rebound and slotted that ball in!  I sound like Jordan but it’s me and it’s true- it was a great goal and the relief on the sideline was like a double dose of the pink stuff.  EJ is always in the right place at the right time, and this time, she finished off the chance.  I think, looking at the standings, that we are thus assured of Second Place at least and we will have Home matches through the playoffs!  Unless, of course, I’m wrong. 

When I got home after beers and libations and cookies, my daughters saw me sporting our Pepto kit and asked if the P stands for Pepto-Bismol!  Now THAT is funny.  Thanks, everyone, for coming out to play.

Our next game is Quarterfinals next Wednesday, 6:30 pm, Foran.  More on our opponent after Sunday’s make up games and the US’s victory in World Cup.  Speaking of which, Lindsay is opening the Fuel Good Café for the game.  She will send out an email with details- but please plan to go to Fuel Good for the game- I’m gonna go.  Let’s get the team there..  Let’s GO United, all the way!!!!

Kerry

Squad- Mary, Catherine, Kerry, Lindsay, Krissy, Angel, Kara, Meags, Maryanne, Harv, Heather, Erin, Jo, Kelly, Shannon, Hines-y, Amy, EJ, Linda, Lisa, DJ  

Timekeeper Bart.

United Stifle Rage, 4-1

Written By:  Kerry Haselton


Playoffs start the following Wednesday night.  We will have a Home match for that since we are sure to finish in the top 4 with our great results this season.

We ALL got lost on the way to Station Park.  I was lost because I had no GPS, no directions, no glasses to read the phone.  Carpool was lost because the exit is labeled differently than expected.  Maryann was lost because the directions online suck.  Harvey may not have been lost- she was first to the bathroom, I know that.

Sparta is a wicked good team that has been struggling for results this season.  In this league, all the teams have become so strong that anything can happen at any time.  Add to that the nature of soccer as a low-scoring game, and you have the potential for upset every game.  Sparta is also a team that practices, and hires a coach.  The coach did not show up so they had no soccer balls.  We supplied the game ball and they asked for 5 minutes to warm up.  Harvey said- No Way- we haven't touched a ball either and we traveled an hour- so let's play!  We had a very strong side at the game with 4 subs and DJ, who had crawled out of bed only to discover we needed a gk and she had to shake the sleep from her eyes and make carpool.  What a trooper!

We had a hard time settling the ball to feet in the early going.  I know Sparta was dominating because I was huffing and puffing a bit.  It was busy in the back. I nipped the ball off the foot of one striker just in front of Dawn's hands, then stepped off to take a breather and Kara subbed in and I wasn't watching but there was some kind of flurry in the box at 20 minutes and Sparta scored.  We just kept trying to get our groove on, without a whole lotta success.  But late in the half, Kara was moving the ball up the left- it apparently went out over the touchline, but the single ref was unable to see that, and he let play continue and Kara played the whistle and we worked the ball into the box and somebody scored! I think it was Linda, maybe Kelly.  I don't know. Sparta was imploring the ref to disallow the goal because the ball had gone out- but he allowed it to stand.  Always, always, always play the  whistle.  It was 1-1 at the half and we took a rest in the shade.

Sparta was playing their outside mids very wide and high and they were keeping Erin, Harvey, Claudia, and EJ busy defending constantly.  We decided to take some risks with that and pass those players off to the backs- me, Kara, and Angel, with help from our stoppers, Maryann and Meags.  It worked a charm.  Instead of giving up a goal early in the half, as is our custom, we buckled down the back and attacked.  Shannon got a goal on a shot from distance fairly quickly- she had been pressing for that all game, and she got her just reward.  The third goal came from a lot of lovely work from Harvey, Kelly and Cheryl over on the right.  Cheryl finished the chance. Our last goal came from Erin, out on the left.  We were passing, moving, controlling, and staying vigilant at the back.  Lately we have been allowing teams to close the gap at the end, but we did not fail this time.  Dawn was sure handed all  game, as usual. And we continued to generate chances.  EJ went sliding in on the far post after a cross from the left and she nearly scored.  Claudia was playing well on both sides of the ball. Meanwhile, back in the back, Krissy as shutting everything down, though she felt she was playing slowly, having forgotten to drink the night  before.  In all, it was a great and sporting match, after which we all went home to watch an amazing USA tuck Brazil away at the last gasp.  What a day, what a game, what a team.  Yup, I mean Clinton United, and the United States- Let's GO!

We are down to the business end of the season, and like the USA, after Wednesday, it's win or GO Home.  Let's keep it up and go all the way.  We can do it!

Squad- DJ, Kerry, Krissy, Angel, Kara, Maryanne, Meags, Erin, Kelly,
Shannon, Harvey, Cheryl, EJ, Linda, Claudia,